Only love can make a memory

Såhär i juletid så tänker man ju mycket på sina nära och kära.För er som inte visste så finns inte min pappa längre hos oss.En månad efter min pappa gick bort skrev jag en uppsats i engelska,denna skulle handla om något som berört oss väldigt mycket.Det var ju givet vad min skulle handla om.Detta är en mycket personlig sak för mig,men nu vill jag gärna dela den med er käre läsare.Så här kommer alla känslor som gick att få ner i en text,MYCKET går inte ens att beskriva.Den är på engelska.




The birtday that became a funeral!





It was the third of July 2006 and it was my mothers birthday,the weather was very nice and the sun was shining.

She had invited the family to come about six o`clock in the evening,i came with my boyfriend and so did my sisters,we had all been looking forward to this day because we knew that mums birthdays always have been great so far.

I think we had been there for about 20 minutes,then the phone rang.

My mother answered the phone,and its strange how one phone call can make your life turn in one second.

It was our cousin from Cyprus calling,she wanted us to know that our father who lived in Cyprus had passed away that day.She told us that he had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital,I will never forget the look on my mothers face when she told us,it was just to unreal to be true,and I just thought to myself can someone please wake me up from this nightmare,and thats still what i am waiting for.

We knew we had to be there for his funeral,so the following day we booked tickets for us all to go as soon as possibel,missing his funeral was not an option for us.

The flight was suppose to leave Arlanda six 0´clock in the evening,but was delayed two hours,so we sat and had a cup of coffee while waiting to board the plane.

I didnt know what to expect of this journey,and i didnt know what to think or what to do,because a tradegy like this had never happened in my family before.

Finally it was time for take off,i cant really say that i like to fly,in fact i am very scared of flying, but this time it seemed like that part of the journey was going to be the easy one.

We didnt really say so much during the flight,i think that everyone including myself just didnt know what this coming week would have in store for us,and that was a very strange feeling,something i have never felt before and hope i dont have to be a part of for a very long time.

We arrived in Limassol at night,i think it was nearly three o´clock.

The hotell we stayed at was very nice,i had been there before once, when i was visiting my father for 5 years ago.

We all just went to bed that night without saying nothing but goodnight to each other.

I didnt sleep very well that night and i guess my sisters didnt either,probably because we knew that when we woke up we were going to see our father for the last time,the funeral was taking place the day after.

The first thing we did when we came to the church was to buy a rose,they had a little market next to the church so we went in and bought one flower each,that we were going to put in our fathers coffin when the cermony finished.

I walked in to the church with my two sisters, and one thing i noticed were that it was a lot of pepole,everyone looked at us with sadness in their eyes,i felt that it was nice to know that so many people cared about our dad.

It was a beautiful cermony,the priest talked for about an hour in the church,i was crying the whole time,i felt like a small child, who really needed my father at that moment and coulden´t belive that it was him laying in that coffin just 2 meters away from me.

Like i said i had never before been to a funeral and especially not a greek ortodox one,so we did not really know what to do next.

My cousin who stod next to me told me and my sisters to go and stand beside the coffin.

From were i was standing you could see everyone who was in the church,and with tears in my eays i thought to myself that all these people came to our fathers funeral,and that could only mean one thing...they all loved him as much as we did.I was so proud to be his daughter and to have the honor to stand there in front of everybody and be so near him as a could.

After we had recived peoples blessing´s,it was time to say goodbye to our father.

We all went down to the grave yard,first the priest and then 5 big men who carried the coffin.

One thing i reacted to was that every grave stone was white,in Sweden i had only seen black and gray ones but because of that it seemed so peaceful.

They put him in the grave,and i didnt know what to think beacuse it was still so unreal,i just couldent belive that it was my father that layed in the coffin.

Before we left Sweden i had taken a picture with me from when i was a baby,i was going to put it in the coffin with him and the rose i bought just to let him know that i will always be with him and he will never have to feel alone.

They opened the top of the coffin under bare sky,i know it sound like a cliché but the sun was shining right on him and he looked so beautiful and peaceful.

My oldest sister Aria went first,she put a picture of her children and a rose on his chest and touched him gently on his cheeks.

I remembered that the first thing i thought of when i stood there and was going to say goodbye was that i had so much more to say and it suddenly became so real for me.

I put both the picture and the rose on his chest,then i told him that i loved him and will always do.

I thought to myself that i hope you can see us from where ever you are,and that he knew that we were there with him the whole time.

The following week was very hard,there were a lot to sort out before we got back and very many feelings to deal with,but although the circumstanses were very sad we managed to do the best of the situation,and for that i thank my family who really showed me that we stick toghter no matter what.

We went back to his grave the day before we left and lit a candle for him.

That day made me realize that you should never take anything for granted because you never know what life has in store for you from one day to another.

Like i said before i really hope he is looking down on us and that he is as proud over us,as we are for him.

Only love can make a memory and that is why i remember him so much,until the day we meet again.